Scottish Catholic Observer

Some have been legally married for many years; some are just living together and are thinking of going to the registrar some day. None of them are married ‘in the church.’ Church weddings are increasingly rare. It is not that, in former times, it was the custom to have a religious ceremony for weddings throughout the country. In some places it was the norm but, in other parts, a church wedding was a rare event.

There are reasons for this, of course: large, extensive and remote regions where a visit from a priest was a rare event; girls paired off for marriage at the early age of 14 or 15 with little knowledge of what was happening to them; migration from the country areas establishing impoverished settlements (shanty towns) on the borders of the big cities where survival was the only observed rule of life.

There are also so many cultural reasons: the fear of failure; native machismo whereby the woman has limited choice or authority and where the male is assertive even in the most absurd manner ‘no one is going to put me in a strait jacket for the rest of my life. I will make my decisions when I choose and dialogue begins and ends there.’ There are many more reasons that can be added.

I have always thought that there is a schizophrenic trait in the majority of men. They can be so tender, considerate, so expressive of their emotions on most occasions and then turn so brutal on other occasions for the most obscure reasons. That is why marriage is becoming so hazardous. The result is that, at one time, the men were those mostly responsible for not accepting the marriage knot but now, as the female is becoming more aware of her rights, church marriages are not so attractive. Solutions don’t arrive at the presbytery door in pre-packed packages.

Having talked with all the couples involved (above left) one truth emerges: to have a church wedding has been life’s ambition for most of the ladies with whom I talked and they do not hide their delight at the possibility of marrying in the church. So many of them feel estranged from God and the Church when they go to Mass and cannot go to Holy Communion. I have to say that when women explain in confession that they have been trying for years, to persuade their husbands to have a sacramental marriage without any progress being made, I tell them: “If you have been married for ten or more years and have been making honest efforts to have a sacramental marriage and your husband will not agree, provided that no scandal is involved, if your conscience is clear, you can go forward and receive Holy Communion. God is not bound by human laws, is compassionate and more understanding of the human condition than any man or woman.” Don’t tell retired Pope Benedict XVI of my pastoral practice but I think that Pope Francis would understand.

To conclude, I am very happy that so many have come forward or have been persuaded to receive the blessing of God on their marital union. For the vast majority their understanding of the Faith is very limited, the meaning of the word ‘sacrament’ is far beyond their comprehension but the Spirit of the Lord needs no human language and He is there in their hearts and souls. It is my role to put a notion or two into their minds and intellect. The most important work has already been completed. They will have weekly talks for a couple of months and their ‘big day’ will be late November or early December.

When I was in the seminary in Spain and studying moral theology our textbook gave various examples of ‘scandal.’ One of the examples, written in classical and elegant Latin, was the spectacle of a nun on a bicycle. There are no nuns in this area but, in the photo provided a deacon in full clerical state and a minister of Holy Communion can be seen on a motorcycle (above right). We have been modernised in Latin America!

Another incident that caught my attention just two days ago was a young man, this time riding a bycycle, and on the main highway, trailing a pram. As I was passing I could see two babies in the pram. I stopped and was positioning myself for taking the photograph but camera battery was flat. Sorry about that.

On another occasion I was travelling in my car along the main street of a nearby town and a car wheel overtook me. I could not believe my eyes but when I looked behind me a car was coming to a grinding halt. It could not catch up with the wheel that had come loose!

Did you say that you do not believe in the Loch Ness monster? Strange things can happen.

—If anyone wishes to support Fr Colin MacInnes’ missionary effort in Ecuador then donations can be made out to Scottish Catholic Observer Charity Appeal, 19 Waterloo St, Glasgow, G2 6BT and all donations will be  forwarded to Fr MacInnes